10 Truths About Facebook
As Facebook approaches half of a billion users I think it might behoove us all to take a minute to point out the truths and falsehoods behind Facebook for the uninitiated amongst us.
1. You will not get a free iPad
By “Clicking here” you will receive no pad of any kind, be it legal, hot, lily, bachelor or iPad.
2. That hot girl who desires your friendship does not exist
Does a real attractive guy/girl want to be your friend and you can’t figure out where they might know you from? More than likely the request comes from a scammer that just wants new friends to market to. He may or may not be a Nigerian prince.
3. Your “friends” will eventually be your enemies
Remember that very embarrassing photo of you trying to be sexy for your girl, the photo that your Ex said she would never let anyone see? Now she has shared it with her 2600 Facebook friends.
4. Facebook is for the young and hip
Facebook started out for college kids but now has blossomed to a user base that is decidedly older. Get ready for your dads friend request. How much fun will it be when you post a update about how drunk you got at the bar last night and Grandma chimes in with “In my day…”.
5. Wall-flirting is not cheating
It may be a bit of fun to flirt with that girl from high school that now lives across the country, harmless right? There is a winner and a loser in this situation and guess which one you are? She feels good about a man finding her flirt-worthy and you get the silent treatment after your girlfriend looks at your history on Facebook.
6. What happens on Facebook stays on the internet forever
Really!? Do you think that the guy above ever thought that the admission board at the college he applied to would see this photo? Facebook is the opposite of Vegas in the fact that “What gets posted on Facebook stays on the Internet, forever”.
7. Facebook friends are like real friends (Minus the “friend” part)
Although your Facebook friends might like to hear about your day at work, they probably will not hold your hair as you vomit, nor will they get matching unicorn tattoos with you. They are only “friends.”
8. You will regret friending some people
Seems harmless enough to accept the friend request of that girl you met while volunteering at the dog rescue, but now you’re her “friend”, which means getting tons of links on your wall about homeless dogs who are going to die if you don’t rescue them immediately. Total bummer.
9. Nobody likes FarmVille but you
Sure, you love FarmVille but none of your friends give a crap. Stop cluttering their walls with endless updates, gifts and requests for farming tools. Your “friends” literally hate you for it, so keep it to your own wall.
10. You can run, but you can’t hide
All those people you were happy to leave behind in High School and College WILL FIND YOU. They will find you, and they will friend you. They will snoop around your life, and friend your boy/girlfriend and act like they know you, sharing pictures of their boring lives and their boring kids. There is literally NOTHING that you can do.
What are some other Facebook truths? Share them with us in the comments below!